Life. It Happens

I've been away for a while.  My absence could have signaled the death of this blog like so many other blogs I've started.  But, this blog is different.  What happened, you ask?  Well, we moved. Then we moved again.  And, I worked on my first big contract.  Oh yeah, I also got pregnant!  We are finally getting settled into our new house and are waiting on our baby girl to arrive in mid-October.  2011 is going to be quite an exciting year.

First a Baby, then a Business

My son is now one year old!  That's also the amount of time that I've been out of the workforce.  I have been calling this time my "family sabbatical".  Like the outcome of many work-related sabbaticals, I have launched a business during mine.  For whatever reason(s), when you leave the workforce, you begin to wrestle with big life questions, like "what do I really want in my career."  For me, something had to be very important to me in order to compete with time with my son.  If you can afford it, it's liberating to allocate true value of your time versus what a company tells you your worth.  I was also motivated to start a business, because I grew very tired of not having a response to the question "What do you do?"  People, men and women, minimize your worth the second you say "I stay at home with my kid(s)."

Like many others who have been out of the workforce for a while, albeit voluntarily or involuntarily, you begin to interview yourself. What are my skills? Who needs these skills?  Very quickly, you also recognize what the market says you are worth.  From there, a series of calculations are made based on your own personal skills, network, guts and insanity.  If you are like me, at the end of all the number crunching and emotional wrangling, you decide to start a business.

Three things happened to me that finally prompted me to jump in:

1.  I got jealous.
During a much needed girls weekend last Fall, my friend SHOCKED me by telling me how well ($$$) her business was doing after only four years.  Granted, she is brilliant and extremely self-motivated, but it was somewhat of an ego crusher to compare my former career salary after seven years to her entrepreneur earnings after four.  My maternal instinct was overtaken by my competitive spirit for the first time since the arrival of our son.

2.  I got bored, really bored.
This one is easy to understand.  After working for seven years and being busy since forever, it was extremely hard to face a daily to-do list of emptying the dishwasher, laundry and tv viewing.  So, I hired a cleaning lady, chucked the laundry and divorced live tv.  My neighbors rejoiced, too.  They were beginning to give me the "go away, you stalker lady" look.

3.  Opportunity came knocking.
I was fortunate to be "hunted" versus "hunting" work, thanks to my social network.  I received a contract from someone who saw my LinkedIn profile status that I had posted six months earlier.  The status said that I'd be looking for short-term engagements in February and they contacted me in January.  That was the final kick in the behind I needed to start my business.

It turns out that I'm getting used to this whole birthing thing.  First a baby, then a business.  I'd love to hear from other moms with similar experiences.

5 Great Baby Gifts under $35

Do you have a baby shower coming up?  Did you just find out that you are going to be a grandparent?  As a new Mom who has thoroughly tested all of her baby shower gifts, here are five of my favorite gifts under $35. 

# 1 Reusable Table Mat

This is seriously the coolest invention for self-feeding babies.  Complete strangers (most are recent grandparents) interrupt our meals all of the time to ask where to buy it.  This dishwasher-safe placemat has suction cups on the bottom and sticks to most restaurant tables.  It’s perfect for eating out.  The price is $10-15, which is only a few extra dollars than the disposable placemats on the market.  You can find them online at Amazon.com or at Babies-R-Us.  I haven’t seen them in Target or Wal-Mart stores.

#2 Dishwasher Basket

If you love to give practical gifts and don't want to spend a lot, get these.  These baskets are great to hold the many parts of baby’s bottles, sippy cups and silverware.  You’ll use this well into their toddler years.  These cost around $5, so be sure to get a couple.  The best part is that you won’t have to worry about washing anything by hand!

#3 Footed Pajamas

A new baby can never have too many footed pajamas.  They are so cute and if you haven’t bought any in a long while (grandma), they now have cute animals on the feet.  See the monkey feet!  And, please, if these are gifts, buy many different sizes (0-18 months).  They grow out of them so quickly.  You can find these at nearly all stores that sell baby clothes.  Carter’s outlet stores sell them for $6 each; you can also find them at Target for $8 or so on clearance.

#4 Boppy Nursing Pillow

This is an absolute MUST purchase for any mom who will be breastfeeding.  I’ve used mine every single day for eleven months.  Yes, you could use a pillow, but no, it does not work as good as this.  You can also rest your laptop on it quite nicely.  Don’t bother with buying multiple slipcovers.  You’ll probably just need one.  You can find these at Target for around $30.

#5 Cool Mist Humidifier

A humidifier is not exactly a “fun” baby gift but it's a lifesaver when your little one is sick.  When our baby became sick for the first time (with the croup!), the humidifier made a significant improvement in his sleeping.  He breathed better throughout the night and woke up happier.  Be sure to get cool mist instead of hot, in case your baby or toddler put their hand over the vent.  I've been told that you want a “visible” mist; if it’s not a “visible” mist, then it’s not putting enough moisture into the air.  You will have to clean it on a regular basis (every couple of weeks) with a vinegar solution to clear out the calcium deposit.  If you wait too long (couple of months), it will begin to smell like mildew.  We purchased this one at Wal-Mart for $35.

3 Tips for New Bloggers...follow party etiquette

Do you consider the blogosphere a friendly place? Or is it more like showing up to a big party (very, very late) where you don't know a soul? The latter, duh. I find that it's helpful to follow some basic party principles when you are the newbie in the group.

1) Talk to others!
Sounds simple, right? Yes, it's a bit scary to leave a comment on a complete stranger's website, but comments are how you start a conversation. When you are at a party, do you approach the most popular person there and expect them to dive right into a conversation with you? Of course not. We all remember high school. You look for a small group of people and talk to the nicest person. If she doesn't engage you, find another, and another, etc.

2) Find the host!
At a party, you can always count on knowing the host and getting at least five minutes of her time. She did, after all, invite you. Hosts always want to know who showed up to their parties; it makes them appreciate you more. Plus, she may even introduce you to a few more guests. In the blog world, I've found the warmest welcome at a social site for mommy bloggers called Socialmoms.com (formerly twittermoms.com). I create a profile, read other mom blogs and participated in group discussions. Recently, my suggestion for a blogging topic was selected and I felt just like in junior high when the popular girls in school sat by me at recess.

3) Remember to talk!
Just like at a real party, no one wants to talk to person who's become mute. People want to talk to interesting people who have something to say. In order to engage in the conversation, you must blog and on a regular basis. Then, try and find some other people who are talking about the same thing and try to connect.

If you visit my blog, you will learn that I don't have a huge entourage. I'm not vying for the most popular award. I just showed up to the party myself. But, I'm making the rounds, meeting new people. Channeling Gretchen Wilson, "I'm here for the party!" Come by and say hi!

Do you  have other suggestions for new bloggers? Share them here or with other moms on Socialmoms.com.

I have a dream on MLK Day

My nine year old nephew came to see us yesterday. When he was in the kitchen, I saw him looking intently at a business card on our island. It was from a realtor who showed our house to a prospective buyer. He kept looking at the card. Finally, he looked at me and asked, "Is this the President?" You see, the realtor was a young African American man wearing a suit. I told him no, but I have been smiling ever since. How remarkable to think that this young boy will grow up and not think twice about an African American being our President. He's probably at the point in school where they are teaching some history and he's been learning about the President. How wonderful that he starts off with our nation's first African American president. What a different world it will be for their generation.

One of my greatest dreams for my children is that they become compassionate, fair individuals that do not judge other by the color of their skin or the clothes they wear or the cars they drive. My dream is that they follow basic Christian principles of "love your neighbor as thyself" and "do not judge lest you be judged" and to have compassion, faith and love. Dr. King has made generations of people throughout the world dream new dreams for themselves and their children. I hope he heard my nephew yesterday.

Cookbook review of "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld

Socialmoms.com recently asked its members for blogging topics and they chose mine! To see the other blogger responses in response to this question, go here.

"What is your favorite recipe, cookbook, or celebrity chef of the moment?

For Christmas, a great friend of mine, Jen of Skipper Photography and fellow mom blogger, gave me Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook Deceptively Delicious. Its stated purpose is "simple secrets to get your kids eating good food." Basically, it tells you how to hide vegetable purees in everyday food that kids (and adults) already like. She also offers tips from a dietitian and strategies to get your kids to voluntarily eat vegetables.
I have cooked my way through some of the recipes and thought I'd share. They are in order of "best" to "least best".

1 - French toast with 2 tablespoons carrot puree and flaxseed meal (optional)
It's basically your regular french toast recipe with the added carrot puree. I didn't use the flaxseed meal. I loved it! It made the french toast sweeter without being sugary.

2 - Mozzarella Sticks withe 1/2 cup cauliflower puree
I really wanted this recipe to work. J loves cheese and mozzarella sticks (who doesn't?). But, I had some technical errors on my side. First, you roll the cheese and cauliflower puree in breadcrumbs to coat. You can't use the store-bought bread crumbs, because they are too fine. Next time, I'll use bread slices and zap 'em in the food processor. The key is to fully encase your cheese so that it doesn't ooze out in the cooking process ending up with what I had - mozzarella globs. They were good, but they were globs. Confession: I didn't have any cauliflower puree so I used 1/2 cup of cream of chicken. Sounds kind of gross and not really supporting the "more vegetables" goal. But, you couldn't taste the chicken at all.

3 - Macaroni and Cheese 1 - This is the featured recipe on Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook website right now if you want to try it. This features basic mac and cheese with 1/2 cup squash (I used carrot puree). My baby and I really liked this, but I would not recommend eating it after it's been refrigerated. It's best right out of the pan.

4 - Coffee cake with 1 cup squash (I used carrot and only 1/4 cup). I LOVE coffee cake. It's my absolute favorite thing to order at Starbucks. So, I was disappointed that this recipe doesn't come close to being the best coffee cake I've ever had. But, it's okay. I still managed to eat half the pan. The main flaw of this dish is the visual of the layer of vegetable in the middle of your pastry. I can't imagine that squash could hide that much better than carrot, but it's kind of gross seeing this layer of nuclear orange stuff in your pastry. Kudos to professional food photographers who made this look fabulous in the book.

Note: Do not make this for a starving husband who has a pre-existing hatred for healthy food and anything "weird". It will end badly and you will have to make him conciliatory chocolate cupcakes.

5 - Chocolate peanut butter dip with 1/4 cup carrot puree- I really wanted to like this, but I sabotaged this recipe too. It calls for chocolate syrup but I used baker's chocolate instead. That either did it in or the cheap cream cheese I used. It did not have a dip consistency, but rather a very, very hard mousse. Most of it got tossed.

Other:

Jen made the Brownies with 1/2 cup spinach puree. These turned out great! I could not taste the spinach at all. The key is to not add the water, because the spinach has enough and to let them cool completely before eating.

I also threw in some carrot puree into my beef taco seasoning and couldn't taste it.

Overall, this book opened my eyes to the many ways we can get our daily dose of vegetables without overhauling our go-to meals. Added bonuses include finally being able to use a two pound bag of carrots (I hate waste!) and getting to use another Christmas present - my hand blender. It was requested after multiple liquid explosions in my kitchen trying to make butternut squash soup.

Let me know if anyone wants to borrow the book!

The Year I became a Cheerleader

When I think back on the past year, it has been full of record setting emotional highs and lows. Even with my professional life at a complete standstill for most of the year, 2010 was life changing for me in a way that few other years can compete. 

As a self-proclaimed jock mom, I haven't exactly been in tune with certain emotional corners of my "feminine mystique". Don't get me wrong, I cry, okay, sob, during some romantic comedies.  I have a considerable amount of empathy for others and a strong desire to help people. While I recognize that I possess many of these so-called feminine traits, I would like to also point out that these qualities can be found in some very good men.

The point I'm trying to make is that some females are born with a fully developed female mothering gene. These girls play with dolls as toddlers, have toy kitchen sets and take home economics classes by choice in high school. Other females, like myself, preferred gender neutral toys like stuffed animals to dolls, played outside and lived for sports during high school.  That so called mothering gene laid dormant in our tomboy bodies for quite some time.

One of my strongest memories from childhood is my consistent desire to have been born a boy. In my young mind, boys had it easy. If I'd been born a boy, I would have enjoyed more acceptance playing sports, more freedom to do as I pleased, and, just as importantly, less annoyance from dealing with girly things like trying to fix my hair, applying makeup, complicated female friendships, bodily changes, fashion decisions, etc. I held a grudge against God for for several summers for not making me a boy.

Then came puberty and boyfriends and my grudge slowly faded into an unconscious acceptance and eventual happiness with my feminine existence. While I continued to avoid hair styling and makeup, I made considerable advancements in many other feminine traits which leads us back to the mothering gene.

It is my opinion that girls with the full-blown mothering gene are disproportionately attracted to the activity of cheerleading.  Even while there have been considerable male advancements, let's admit that there are few activities quite as "feminine" as cheerleading. In movies, cheerleaders are always portrayed as the prettiest and most popular girls in school that every other girl dreamed of being. Let me tell you, I NEVER wanted to be a cheerleader, ever. At the time, the thought of sitting on the sidelines and watching other people perform was about as stupid to me as standing at a bus stop with no intention of getting on. I could not see what was in it for them.

Looking at it now, those girls were a part of something even if they were on the sidelines of the main event. They were there to watch, support and cheer us on, even if they could do nothing to affect the outcome of the game. They decorated our lockers and held pep rallies. They suffered when we suffered and celebrated our victories for us. 

One of the biggest lessons I've learned since becoming a mother is the satisfaction that can come from selfless giving.  Starting with pregnancy, you turn over your body for the development of another. If he needs room to stretch his legs, you put up with going to the bathroom four times at night. When he is born, you sacrifice your sleep, sanity and cognitive ability so that he's fed when he's hungry, held when he's lonely and changed when he's dirty. As he grows, you are on constant watch for what he'll need, anticipating the diaper change, the favorite toy and desired snack. Sitting on the sidelines is no easy job! Looking in the mirror, I see pom poms, and I smile. I cheer because I mother.