The Year I became a Cheerleader

When I think back on the past year, it has been full of record setting emotional highs and lows. Even with my professional life at a complete standstill for most of the year, 2010 was life changing for me in a way that few other years can compete. 

As a self-proclaimed jock mom, I haven't exactly been in tune with certain emotional corners of my "feminine mystique". Don't get me wrong, I cry, okay, sob, during some romantic comedies.  I have a considerable amount of empathy for others and a strong desire to help people. While I recognize that I possess many of these so-called feminine traits, I would like to also point out that these qualities can be found in some very good men.

The point I'm trying to make is that some females are born with a fully developed female mothering gene. These girls play with dolls as toddlers, have toy kitchen sets and take home economics classes by choice in high school. Other females, like myself, preferred gender neutral toys like stuffed animals to dolls, played outside and lived for sports during high school.  That so called mothering gene laid dormant in our tomboy bodies for quite some time.

One of my strongest memories from childhood is my consistent desire to have been born a boy. In my young mind, boys had it easy. If I'd been born a boy, I would have enjoyed more acceptance playing sports, more freedom to do as I pleased, and, just as importantly, less annoyance from dealing with girly things like trying to fix my hair, applying makeup, complicated female friendships, bodily changes, fashion decisions, etc. I held a grudge against God for for several summers for not making me a boy.

Then came puberty and boyfriends and my grudge slowly faded into an unconscious acceptance and eventual happiness with my feminine existence. While I continued to avoid hair styling and makeup, I made considerable advancements in many other feminine traits which leads us back to the mothering gene.

It is my opinion that girls with the full-blown mothering gene are disproportionately attracted to the activity of cheerleading.  Even while there have been considerable male advancements, let's admit that there are few activities quite as "feminine" as cheerleading. In movies, cheerleaders are always portrayed as the prettiest and most popular girls in school that every other girl dreamed of being. Let me tell you, I NEVER wanted to be a cheerleader, ever. At the time, the thought of sitting on the sidelines and watching other people perform was about as stupid to me as standing at a bus stop with no intention of getting on. I could not see what was in it for them.

Looking at it now, those girls were a part of something even if they were on the sidelines of the main event. They were there to watch, support and cheer us on, even if they could do nothing to affect the outcome of the game. They decorated our lockers and held pep rallies. They suffered when we suffered and celebrated our victories for us. 

One of the biggest lessons I've learned since becoming a mother is the satisfaction that can come from selfless giving.  Starting with pregnancy, you turn over your body for the development of another. If he needs room to stretch his legs, you put up with going to the bathroom four times at night. When he is born, you sacrifice your sleep, sanity and cognitive ability so that he's fed when he's hungry, held when he's lonely and changed when he's dirty. As he grows, you are on constant watch for what he'll need, anticipating the diaper change, the favorite toy and desired snack. Sitting on the sidelines is no easy job! Looking in the mirror, I see pom poms, and I smile. I cheer because I mother.

Lock your doors, JT is on the loose!

Christmas brought with it many riding toys for JT (three to be exact). It took him only a few days to learn how to leverage his new toys to his advantage (see pix below). He scoots very slowly to our kitchen island and "parks" his toy and is able to open the cabinet and reach our top shelf. How smart he is for a little baby!  I know that babies have been born for thousands of years, but it is still remarkable to watch a new little life figure out things for the first time. I feel blessed to spend every day with him.

He has also started saying "dada" consistently, thus warming Dad's heart. JT lights up when J walks through the door each evening.

Drive by snooping!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...really?

It's our first holiday season as a "family" and I'm perplexed. I expected fireworks, street parades; esentially, a Normal Rockwell Christmas. What gives? I can't seem to catch the Christmas spirit. We almost didn't put up a tree, for goodness sakes. I kept thinking, he won't even remember it and the house is on the market; I don't want the room to look smaller. I haven't played any Christmas music at home yet, nor made my Grandma's cookies.

On a positive note, though, shopping has not been as torturous as usual. Normally, I consider getting everyone I love a lump a coal, because I cannot stand pondering what to get someone or staring at the mall display wondering to myself, "Will so and so like this Mustang computer mouse?"  What is the point?

Fighting the crowds doesn't really bother me until Christmas Eve when the malls become so crowded I am sure we are being herded to a secret slaughterhouse. If I hit that point, everyone left gets a nice lump of you know what.

On another positive note, the highlight of the season for me so far has been giving and receiving Christmas cards. The photo cards of all our friends and their children hanging on my door are a nice reminder of the love and friendship that has blessed our lives. To me, that feeling is what Christmas is all about. Not the presents or the parties.

If it's not too premature to start setting New Year's resolutions, mine would be to cut out all of the "stuff" that keeps me from enjoying what's really important in life. Buy what I need, surround myself with people who make me feel loved (more importantly, cut out the people who don't) and enjoy every day with my son and husband.

'Tis the season.

And....we're off!

Crawling is a skill that took JT several months to master. As with getting his toes in his mouth, he took his sweet time figuring out how to motor about on his own. One of the girls from my book club said that she remembers never putting her first born down long enough for him to learn how to crawl. Perhaps, I am guilty of this a little, too. He "officially" started crawling shortly after Halloween. Now that he is crawling around on his own, it is so fun to watch him explore. I feel blessed to watch him develop each and every day. Here are a few shots of him in "training" over the past few months. Enjoy!

To the Perseverance of Friendship

Good friends are hard to find. I thought they were also harder to keep. My BFF and I have kind of drifted apart since college. She lives in the desert of Arizona and I in the hills of Tennessee. We are married with children and careers. Before either of us realized it, four years had passed since we had last seen each other.

But, for the grace of God, she called me out of the blue and said she was coming to visit. Out of nowhere a girls weekend to Atlanta was planned. It couldn’t have been better timing for me. I desperately needed to remember who I was before I was a mommy.

The three and a half hour road trip from Nashville to Atlanta was the perfect amount of time for us to catch up. By the time we checked into the W Downtown, the four years that had separated us had faded away and I felt a bit like my old self from college. I have to admit, it was nice to connect with a friend who knew me as just “me” and not as “wife of J” or “mommy to JT”. It was just ME and that felt good. The best part of the trip was remembering how a good friend can inspire you to follow a dream, give you perspective on a current issue and make you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

As we left Atlanta, I couldn't help but wonder if we would talk more this year than last? Even as I considered the odds, I wasn’t worried. I realized that it’s not the number of phone calls we make or letters we send that keep our friendship alive. We simply need to make time for each so that we can remember who we used to be and who we would like to become. Preferably, over drinks, dinner and laughter.

Travel Details:

W Downtown - Modern, chic hotel. Cool rooms and lounges. Found a great deal on hotel website. Convenient shuttle to nearby restaurants.

Woodfire Grill - Top Chef restaurant. Enjoyed the five course tasting menu at the bar. Recommend the "Bitter End" cocktail if you are looking for a "bartender's drink".

Staring at the Baby Monitor

I find that I have been staring at the baby monitor a LOT lately, trying to will my 8 month old to sleep.  You see, his top two front teeth are coming in and he's quite cranky about it.  Plus, he's just learned how to sit up on his own.  Might I add that he hasn't quite mastered the art of going from a sitting position back to a laying position.  So, he'll sway back and forth on his tooshie so tired, crying and trying to take a huge bite out of his toy basketball.  He looks like a tree that's about to fall that's only waiting for someone to yell "Timber!".  You just want to say "Bless his heart!" as we do in the South.  Well, speak of the devil, he has finally crashed.  I'm going to tiptoe downstairs and have some lunch.

Trick or Treat?

When I bake, I don't know if I'll end up with a treat or a dirty little trick the kitchen plays on me.  Nevertheless, I shall don an apron and make a galiant effort to produce these goodies for our Halloween get together tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Halloween Cake Balls - I promise they are delicious & cute despite the name.

Imagine white chocolate covered spice cake with Halloween sprinkles!

Halloween Sugar Cookies - This sounds foolproof, but I have a knack for ruining baked goods...at least they will be in the shape of ghosts and goblins.

Happy Halloween!