Circadian Rhythms

According to Merriam Webster online, circadian is defined as:

Main Entry: cir·ca·di·an

Pronunciation: \sər-ˈkā-dē-ən\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin circa about + dies day + English 2-an — more at deity
Date: 1959

: being, having, characterized by, or occurring in approximately 24-hour periods or cycles (as of biological activity or function)

In other words, this is one of the main reasons for Meltdown #5 (but who's counting).  My little man is 8 weeks old today.  I celebrate having realized that the entire month of March has passed in a complete and utter sleep deprived haze.  And, I can't say that the month of April was any less foggy.  I love being a mom, but this aspect of parenthood is driving me bananas. 

Meltdown #5 started like this: Three consecutive days of 3 hour feeding with no naps for momma.  I made it through Monday fine; Tuesday, a little worn; but Wednesday, OH MY.  It was like an avalanche on a gently sloped mountain - a prolonged catastrophe.  The meltdown started Wednesday night when I was banished downstairs with the crying baby by the tired husband.  Scorned, full of resentment and groggy, I dedicated what remaining functioning brain cells I had left to discern whether I should let my baby sleep in his swing or try and acclamate him to his crib.  I tried to do both.  The swing won.  When reinforcements came in around the 7am shift, I was too depleted to grab onto the lifeboat - they offered to take the baby to breakfast!  Of course, the baby woke up right after they left and stayed up for 5 hours, demanding full attention.  At the end, I was broken, crying in the bathtub while trying to shave my gorrilla legs, all the while as the baby cried on my bed.  Not only was I sleep deprived and shedding in a tepid pool of water, but I was also drowning in momma guilt for letting my baby cry for a few minutes.

The meltdown was tempered with another wave of reinforcements, a babysitter so that I could pass out for about two hours and a concerned husband who ran home to fix me lunch.  Where am I now?  WIDE AWAKE at 2am writing this post, waiting on my little guy to wake up.  Where is he?  Still asleep after three hours (30 minutes in the swing, 2.5 hours in the crib and counting).  Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too...but, boy, does it hurt.