Drama in the life of a Stay at Home Mom

Some would call being a Stay at home mom (SAHM) the good life. Others would call it a relic of the 1950's Stepford wife era with chocolate bon bons and soap operas. Despite all of my preconceived notions of what life would be like on the other side of gainful employment, being a SAHM is tougher than I ever thought (but just as rewarding).

First, someone should just tell you that months 0-3 are a wash. Forget about accomplishing anything above and beyond survival and sleep, especially if you are a first-timer. I don't remember anything that happened during those months - seriously, NOTHING. You focus on sleeping and keeping this tiny baby alive and well. Sometimes you get to take a shower and brush your teeth. Forget about shaving and having intelligent conversations. Plan on watching marathon episodes of Bones or whatever comes on between midnight and four in the morning. Women who go back to "gainful employment" should be showered daily with spa treatments and chocolate for they are maternal goddesses.

At 3-6 months, you begin to see light at the other end of the tunnel, small rays of hope that one day you will sleep again. Looking back, I wish someone had just told me to survive to 3 months. Knowing there was an end in sight would have made the first three months less painful. Some type of sleeping clock adjusts in most babies resulting in more zzzz's for all. This is also when babies stop having colic (thank heaven above my baby did not!). You can shower daily now, breathe normally and perform many normal daily functions such as cooking, light cleaning and slightly intelligent conversations. If I had to go back to "work", 6 months would be the earliest I could psychologically do it.

Months 6-9 (my current stage in life) are SOOO sweet. Baby is cooing and smiling at every little thing you do. You are a maternal goddess in his eyes. I would say that you have "adjusted" to the pressures of being a mom - you have figured out what makes your little guy tick and how to fix problems. As a bonus, my pregnancy weight finally came off! On the flip side, this is also the point where you start to realize the accumulated loss of self. You've basically ignored your own needs for the last six to nine months. Being a constant caregiver begins to take its toll. And, you start to think about adjustments you can make to your freshly designed routine. What can I do for "me"? How can I build in some "me" time?

Don't ask me what comes next. I have NO idea! This is where I'm at now. One thing I've learned as a SAHM - take it one day at a time, or better yet, one diaper at a time!

Jason Thomas - 7 Month Photo Shoot

Our family photographer, Skipper Photography, captured  my sweet little angel's 7th month photos recently.  Being a swooning, prideful mother, I'm smothering you all with his sweet pictures.  Click HERE to see a few of his best pics - Enjoy!!

A rose is a rose by any other name....

I've been wrestling lately with the fact that I named my son a double name, not only with myself but with others.  Panic first struck me about two months after he was born when I realized that most of our close family members were calling him "JT" and not his full name.  If I couldn't get his aunts and uncles to call him Jason Thomas, then how in the world would kindergarten children do it?  I seriously considered changing it in that moment to Thomas.  But, I didn't....and I've grown to love it, as well as loathe it when people scoff at it.  Most recently, an acquaintance looked at me in astonishment when I called my son by his double name.  "You actually call him by both names?  I'm exhausted just listening to you," she groused.  Every one knows not to harass the baby cub in front of the momma cub without fear of getting your face ripped off.  After I made a mental note to put her on "the list," I gave her my nice Southern smile and remembered Shakespeare's famous sonnet in Romeo and Juliet:

'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

And, if the high road doesn't work for 'em, they can go suck an egg!

Take out your No. 2 pencil. It's back to school!

I just returned from taking my first test in eight years!  In hopes of staying at home with my current and future babies, I am learning accounting to help my husband's business.  For someone with an Economics degree, let me tell you, I used to consider accounting to be in one of my personal circles of hell.  Debits and credits, blah!  Accounting was my lowest grade in college and I remember that class as four weekly hours of torture amidst the backdrop of beautiful spring afternoons.  However, time and circumstance have given me a different lens through which to look at things and accounting has been almost enjoyable this time 'round.

My class is online through Nashville State Community College, but I have to go on campus to take the tests.  Now that I have matured, I refuse to wear shorts or casual clothes to college - treat it like work, I tell myself!  So, I put on my nice Ann Taylor sweater set and black pencil skirt, sharpened my pencils and even put on makeup!  My goal was to be mistaken as a NSCC teacher, which I was not.  Since I went to college before the explosion of cell phones, I had the new experience of forfeiting my phone to a cubby before receiving my test so that I couldn't text for answers.  I feel very old saying that I went to college before cell phones.

I'll keep you posted on the class.  I'm hoping for an A++.

Love at First Bite

My baby and I took a big step this month.  Let me clarify, we took a big bite.  His was rice cereal; mine was little tears over the loss of my little bitty, teeny weeny newborn baby.  As I write these words, my bottom lip sticks out and I feel sad.  Cry with me.  I am sad because with Food my baby is telling me "I'm growing up Mom, I'm going to be walking soon, I'll have teeth soon!"  I'm sad because I am saying goodbye to a very sweet chapter in my son's life.  I look at his Michelin Man body now and try to remember when he was only seven pounds.  As they say, "they grow up so quickly." 

As you can tell from the picture above, JT was not quite as sad to reach his new milestone.  He LOVED rice cereal.  You can tell it rocked his world.  He would reach out for every spoonful like a baby bird reaching to his mama for his morning grub, neck extended, lips up in the air waiting for the next bite.  We decided to keep feeding him food (our pediatrician would be happy), and last night fed him green beans.  He swallowed approvingly.  I'm scared of his next poopy diaper.  Will it be Incredible Hulk - like?

What was your baby's first food and did you weep like me?

Ode to the toes

If baby milestones could have ringtones, the 80's song "You're My Obsession" would be JT's discovery of his feet.  He has been spying his piggy toes since the first week of June.  He finally got these bad boys into his mouth recently.  He was sucking on his big toe so hard that when it came out it made a loud popping noise.

I wonder how long this song will be stuck in my head now....

I will have you, yes I will have you

I will find a way and I will have you

Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly

I will collect you and capture you

Let's go Krogering!

Even though I'm 30 (it still hurts to admit), I still don't have a clue as to how to put a meal on the table five days a week, let alone seven.  Now that we have a baby, cooking seems like a required skillset for a mother.  With all that said, it's been quite a bumpy road in the kitchen.

One of my good friends, Ellen, turned me onto meal planning. She plans a week of meals at a time and buys groceries over the weekend. At first, this seemed like a very daunting task.  So many decisions!  But, I worship practicality, and this seemed like a very practical approach to cooking.  As a bonus, it also allows my sweet husband the chance to "pre-approve" my meal decisions and rule out anything too weird or pricey.  We tend to not agree on all things culinary and he is quite a grocery penny pincher (we save $1,000 each year with our Kroger card). 

So, here was my first weekly menu: Monday - "meal of blah" (previously discussed); Tuesday - hot dogs, grilled tomatoes stuffed with pesto and artichokes and roasted corn on the cob; Wednesday - BBQ ribs + apple slaw ; Thursday - BBQ pizza + pesto pizza & salad.  Everything outside of Monday turned out pretty good.  Anyone have suggestions for next week?